


Children Surrender

by xSeshatx



Series: Peter Parker: Future Hearts [9]
Category: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, I'VE BEEN GONE FOR SO LONG I AM SO SORRY, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Pepper Potts, Tony isn't actually in this one BUT HE WILL BE BACK NEXT TIME
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 11:41:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17642114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xSeshatx/pseuds/xSeshatx
Summary: Skip comes back, and Peter isn’t ready to deal with it





	Children Surrender

**Author's Note:**

> Children Surrender - Black Veil Brides
> 
> It’s been so long. I have tons of reasons but no genuine excuse. It’s been a very very very long seven months. Like, excruciatingly long, but I won’t bore you guys with the details. 
> 
> This is the first piece of non-educational writing I’ve written since the last story I published back in JUNE. Wow I suck. Every time I’ve gotten back into writing after not writing for a few months, I usually write a few shitty things to get back in the hang of it. I skipped that step and went straight to real writing, so this is definitely not going to be up to par. I’ll catch up with myself, though. I’m working on getting my head straight again 
> 
> Also, this is definitely going to be a part one… (I know each new oneshot is part x of x but I usually complete a storyline within each oneshot. This time, I’m ending kind of in the middle. Because I feel it just works best story-wise. I’m keeping you guys juuuust short of the climax. Enough to tease you but also not leave you guys in a cliffhanger.) 
> 
> (and I had such a hard time coming up with a song for the title. I normally write with a song title already picked and I let that lead me, but because I’m splitting this one up, I had to improvise)

            Peter barely recognized his face.

            He dreamt of this moment for a long time, honestly. He liked to torture himself, so he would always wonder how he’d react the moment he came face-to-face with this man again. Would he see him and cry? Run away? Would he freeze up? Or would he turn his brain off and continue forward as if this _wasn’t_ the man who ruined his childhood? Would he warn whoever he was with? Or would he be alone and have to deal with this without the comfort of another person? Of course, in every scenario he came up with, he always recognized Skip right off the bat.

            The years didn’t do him justice. He had been a teenager the last time Peter saw him. Now? He looked like he could be in his late thirties. He went through some serious suffering, by the looks of it. Maybe his parents abused him to fix the little monster they raised, or maybe somebody did to Skip what Skip did to Peter. Or maybe the universe was just branding the child molester. Somebody who looked that rough couldn’t be as approachable as the witty, charming, handsome man he had been all those years ago.

             His brain didn’t turn off as expected, so that was good. He was working through his dissociation with his therapist. It had only been a few weeks since that incident where he almost completely lost the day and needed Tony’s help to bring him back. It felt like a lifetime ago. He was doing two hours a week with his therapist. Most of that time was spent trying to develop healthy coping mechanisms. She recommended less time as Spider-Man (yes, she knew, and it took so much strength to tell her), and when he was out as Spider-Man, he shouldn’t give himself pep talks, such as, “You got this, Spider-Man…” If he was giving himself a pep talk, he should use his name instead. “You got this, Peter…” That was a much better alternative and helped prevent the separation of the two of them in his mind.  

            Anyways, his dissociation wasn’t the problem because he wasn’t dissociating. The problem here was Skip who had just walked into the same coffee shop Peter was meeting MJ and Ned at so the three of them could walk over to the movie theater only a few blocks away. Sure, they all could have driven themselves, but coffee houses were such a common meet up place for teenagers and young adults. Peter was there first, per usual, and he was waiting for MJ to show up because he was always early, she was always on time, and Ned was always late. But then Skip just walked right in as if he had owned the entirety of Queens. Well, he didn’t walk in with that much confidence and power, but the fact that he walked in at all made him give off so many bad vibes that the air was suddenly suffocating.

            He should have asked MJ and Ned to meet him at the Tower so they can watch a movie in the middle of the city instead of having Happy drop him off in Queens to make it easier on Ned and MJ. He should have just been selfish even though he had no idea that Skip was back in the city.

            The fact that Skip didn’t rush to him brought little comfort. But there was still some comfort because maybe he had grown up enough to lose the appeal of a child…and that thought only made him hate himself because maybe now some other child would be in danger because he was too old. And his head was spinning. He slid out of his chair and out of the door, forgetting the idea he had to buy all three of them coffee to surprise them. They didn’t need coffee. He’d just buy them all a large Slurpee as a surprise instead. Which he did, and they were very grateful, but MJ was frowning and Ned was antsy. Apparently, Peter was way too jumpy to go unnoticed. Thankfully, they didn’t push when he said he didn’t want to talk about it.  

            The second time he saw Skip, he recognized him immediately and his heart skipped a beat _because two times within a week? I don’t believe in coincidences._ At the store, no less. He didn’t have a cart or basket with him. Peter’s spider-sense went off and ten seconds later, Skip was walking down the aisle with no groceries in his hands. It was Peter and Pepper walking around together. Normally, they would order groceries online and then Happy would come pick them up because that was the easiest way to avoid the press, but it was a nice day out. It was February, but the streets were clear of snow and it was pushing fifty degrees. First nice day of the year, groceries needed picked up, and Peter was bored. So, grocery store.

            Pepper noticed immediately when Peter’s mood changed, and she jumped right on it as she normally did. “Is something wrong?” she asked, voice quiet and concerned yet her face had been unchanged. She looked very nonchalant as she was looking for items on their list. She didn’t even look over at Peter after she noticed something was wrong. She kept it very lowkey.

            When Peter said, “we need to leave,” Pepper obliged. They left their cart in the middle of the store, too, even though Peter felt guilty at doing so. He lifted his hood up and held on to Pepper’s sleeve like a child as she led the way out. He didn’t let go of her until he could touch the car, and he didn’t lower his hood until Pepper had driven three blocks away.

            “What is it?” she asked. Pepper had this way of speaking that just…Peter couldn’t understand. Pepper was so demanding while demanding nothing. She asked, “What is it?” but said it without a question mark, yet nothing about her demeanor suggested that she expected an answer.

            “That was the second time this week I saw him. I don’t know if the world just hates me or if he’s following me. But that was the second time, and the world knows where I live.”

            “Him?” Pepper pressed.

            “Skip.”

            “I see,” Pepper said, hesitantly, obviously using a lot of self-restraint to hold herself back from _something_. Yelling? Ranting? Calling Tony? Turning around and dealing with Skip herself? Who knew? Pepper could be unpredictable. “Well, what do you think? I know you’re panicking right now, so try to slow down your thoughts. Look at the facts. You saw him two times this week. Where was the first time?”

            “The coffee shop,” he answered. “I was waiting for MJ and Ned, but when Skip came in, I kinda just left to meet them somewhere else instead.”

            “And your spider sense? Anything?”

            It took a few seconds too long for Peter to notice that he had been hovering over Tony’s contact information on his phone. He locked it and let it fall in his lap. “Nothing the first time. It was just the normal bad feeling when I saw him, I guess. This time, my warning bells went off before I saw him.”

            “Either of these times, did he see you? Did he see you see him?”

            “I didn’t think he saw me the first time. This time, he was facing our direction when he turned down the aisle. I don’t know if he recognized me…but he probably did. I’m not oblivious to the fact that I have a young face.”

            “A very young face,” Pepper confirmed. Any other time, she probably would have been smiling as she said it. This time, she had a deep frown on her face. And worry lines. Pepper didn’t look good with worry lines.

             It was too quiet in the car for too long, so Peter turned up the music that was playing from his phone through the Bluetooth in the car. He changed the playlist from his favorite indie songs to his favorite classic rock songs. Only a few minutes before they reached the Tower, Peter spoke again. “I know he can’t hurt me anymore. He probably wouldn’t even try, but even if he did, I’m more than capable of fighting him off. I’m not the same little kid I was before, even without the spider bite. It’s just…”

            He felt Pepper’s hand reach over to grab his. “You don’t need to explain,” she said. “I understand. We’ll go straight to Tony and we’ll figure something out.”

            The drive was far too short. He wished that they had walked to the store instead of taken the car, but they planned on getting too many groceries to carry back. A long walk in the cool (or warm, considering how cold it should have been) air probably would have helped calm him down. At the same time, however, that meant more time before he could see Tony. Pepper parked the car and, once in the elevator, instructed Friday to take them up to see Tony and that it was urgent. Of course, both of them forgot that Tony wasn’t even in the state currently. He had been invited to speak on behalf of Stark Industries at MIT for the European Career Fair that was going on at that very moment. Tony had been invited almost every year that the ECF had been happening, but he only went a handful of times in its earlier years. For the last five years, however, he went every time. He had been talking about how excited he was for it during the days leading up to it.

            They still had many hours until Tony was scheduled to return home. Peter went to the gym to pass the time. He wrapped his hands and went to work. He never truly appreciated working out before. Before becoming Spider-Man, he never even pretended to be athletic. After he became Spider-Man, he had the strength and body naturally. Which meant that he never felt the need to exercise. He learned from Steve that he could appreciate working out for other reasons than developing and maintaining muscles. It could help clear his head, tire him out, or just give him something to do. He’d be lying if he said that he didn’t feel stronger for it, too.

            The gym is exactly where Bucky found him an hour later. “It isn’t like you to try to punch yourself out,” Bucky remarked after watching him for a few minutes.

            “I’m not.”

            “You are,” Bucky said, disregarding Peter’s weak protests. “You’re putting more than usual behind your punches, and you’re throwing your punches all wrong. We’ve all helped train you. You’re not hitting the bag with your knuckles every time, and I’m pretty sure that’s the first thing I told you to do. You’re not moving your body with your punches. You’re not even pivoting your foot when you swing. Instead of aiming for improvement, you’re throwing careless punches with more speed and power as opposed to thought and concentration. You’re trying to punch yourself out.”

            Honestly, it was unfair that everybody knew how to fight. “Okay. You’re right. I’m trying to punch myself out.” He let his fists fall after that and wiped some sweat from his face. “In short, at least. I’m mostly trying to pass the time.”

            Bucky nodded as if he hadn’t expected to hear anything else. “At some point, you’ll stop being so anxious when you’re far from Tony. You’ve gotten better at handling being apart, at least.”

            “It isn’t the distance,” Peter said, stopping Bucky before he started rambling on about something that was untrue. “I’ve gotten better with being away. At school, I don’t pull my phone out every hour to see if something happened. I don’t think twice when Tony goes away for a business trip or Avengers thing. I go out with my friends more. I’m okay. I can handle it.”

            Bucky nodded more slowly this time because that was something he probably hadn’t been expecting to hear. “Okay. Then what is it?”

            “This…” he paused, considering his words. The more he thought about what to say, the angrier he got. “… _asshole_ from my past is back.” That got a worried look out of Bucky. Truth be told, Peter wasn’t sure who all knew about Skip and who didn’t. He knew Tony didn’t go out and tell everybody, but some people must have caught on. He didn’t know who heard what over the summer during his breakdown. He didn’t know how much the spies were able to pick up just from being spies. He didn’t know how much of his behavior and little quirks pointed to him being a victim of sexual assault.

            “Do you want to elaborate?” Bucky asked after Peter stood in silence for a few moments.

            “He wasn’t a great person. He’s been gone from my life for a very long time. Now he’s back.” That wasn’t much elaboration, so he tried again. “He’s a big reason why I’m so…messed up, I guess.”

            “You’re not messed up,” Bucky chastised.

            “I am. I’m not really normal, and that’s not just because of being Spider-Man. I’m not normal because I can’t make friends because I don’t _want_ to make friends because making friends scare me. Meeting new people scares me. I know I have weird…stims, I guess they’re called. Hell, even my anxiety stems from him.” He was ranting now. He didn’t think he could stop by himself. “I lost out on my childhood because of him. I lose out on _moments_ all the time because of him. I can’t process my thoughts because of him. I can be sitting there with a smile on my face and not clearly remember feeling anything in that moment when I look back on it later. It all goes back to _him_.”

            When he opened his eyes (when did he even close them?) Bucky was a few steps closer. “You’re scared,” he said. “This is a different type of scared. You’re not just anxious. You’re afraid. He hurt you.”

            “Yeah, Buck,” Peter sighed, “he hurt me.”

            “Is it Skip? I’ve heard his name mentioned a few times. I know enough about him to know that he hurt you when you were a kid. I’ve never asked questions, and I don’t want to jump to conclusions about him.”

            “It’s Skip,” he confirmed. “It always goes back to Skip.”

            “Does Tony know?”

            “Not yet.”

            “Pepper?”

            “She does. I saw Skip when we were at the store a little bit ago. It’s not an emergency. We’ll talk to him when he comes home. In the meantime, I have too much energy and I want to run. Or move. Or swing. I think I’m gonna go out on patrol for – until Tony comes out. I think that’s a good idea.”

            “You’re not calm enough to go on patrol. You know you’re not.”

            “I’m mostly calm. I think? Or, well, I’m not actively panicking, but I just have a ton of adrenaline. Like, so much. Like, an insane amount of energy.”

            “Because you’re not calm. Wanna spar? That’s an easier way to get some energy out.”

            “Would you want to?”

            “I’m always down to get my ass handed to me by a kid. Let’s go.”

            For the next thirty minutes, Bucky and Peter pretty much took turns knocking the other over or flipping them backwards. One time, Bucky would get a good hit on Peter that would leave him stunned for a second, but the next time Peter would grab Bucky’s real arm and flip him over when Bucky went for another hit. It was fun. It was definitely better than punching a bag a little bit, that’s for sure.

            After a particularly rough hit, Peter decided to stay laying on the ground catching his breath. “You all good?” Bucky asked, probably out of courtesy rather than worry. Bucky knew how hard was too hard and he never got close to hitting any of them too hard, especially Peter. Most of the time, everybody pulled their punches. Well, most of the time, most of them pulled their punches. Natasha never did, not even with Peter. Sam did sometimes, but he usually quit when he actively remembered to. The stronger-than-normal people of the team would always pull their punches against those with a normal range of strength. When two people who had some sort of enhancement would fight against each other, they put a lot more behind their hits, but still held some restraint. They were training, not trying to kill each other.

            To be frank, his body was throbbing. He was sore. He was probably throwing himself at the punches just as much as he was pulling his own. “I’m beat,” he settled on. “And dehydrated. I need water.”

            Bucky held out a hand for him to take and then he hoisted Peter to his feet. “Let’s head up to the kitchen then.” In the elevator, Peter laid his head back against the wall and sighed. “If you’re going to make a verbal noise of discontent, you’re gonna have to elaborate. Those are the rules. I didn’t make them, but I do enforce them.”

            Peter gave a little laugh despite not being in a laughing mood. Bucky’s comment deserved at least that. “I am fighting my body’s urge to lay on the floor and not get up ever again.”

            “You were so full of energy half an hour ago.”

            “And then I used up all that energy going at it with you. Now I’m exhausted.”

            “We both know it’s a mental exhaustion and not a physical exhaustion.”

            “And?”

            Bucky flicked Peter’s forehead, causing Peter to open his eyes and make a whine of protest. “Until your exhaustion is a physical one, I’m not letting you lay down and wallow in your depression.”

            “I’m not depressed,” Peter said, pushing Bucky’s hand away before he received another flick. “And you’re mean. I’m just tired.”

            “And scared.”

            “Yes. And scared. Thanks for reminding me.”

            “You never forgot. You just chose not to think about it.”

            “Are you trying to be my therapist or something?”

            Bucky smiled a sad smile. “No. I don’t want you to get so lost in your emotions that you forget you have them.”

            They walked off the elevator together, Bucky with his head held high and Peter with his eyes aimed at the floor. That was something his therapist talked to him about, too. Getting lost in his emotions, that is. His dissociation came about sometimes from being too aware of his emotions that he stopped being aware of them, if that makes sense. It would be stuck at the front of his mind, being the only thing in his thoughts, and eventually it would be dulled out where he still felt it but not actively or with any real thoughts behind it. His brain made no sense to him, and anytime anybody else would try to make sense of it for him, he’d realize that everything made even less sense than before. But one thing was for certain: Bucky was only trying to keep him present in his mind.

            “You’re a good friend, Bucky.”

            “And don’t you forget it.”

            Peter smiled genuinely at that. He opened the fridge and pulled himself out a bottle of water. He offered one to Bucky who silently shook his head before sitting down at the counter and chugging the bottle in one go. “Wow. You weren’t kidding about being dehydrated.”

            “I never remember to bring a bottle of water with me to the gym. Or anywhere, really.”

            “You want a snack?” Clint asked, making Peter jump and drop the now-empty bottle to the floor. “Woah there. Jumpy much?”

            “I didn’t know you were in here!” Peter defended.

            “Honestly, you call yourself an Avenger,” Bucky teased.

            “It isn’t fair. My spider senses don’t go off around you guys,” Peter all-but-pouted as he reclaimed his seat.

            Clint tossed a packet of crackers at him from his spot sitting _on_ the counter. “You shouldn’t only rely on your spider sense. I’m sure it’s helpful to have, but it’s detrimental relying on only that. It would be the equivalent of us relying solely on a scan of the building. Sure, it’s reliable most of the time, but what about that one time it’s not?”

            Peter rolled his eyes good-naturedly. “Everything doesn’t always have to be a lesson, you know.”

            “And that’s where you’re wrong again,” Clint said, finger-gunning him. Yes, _finger-gunning_. “Sometimes we learn the most valuable lessons when we don’t expect to learn any lesson.”

            “Okay, Mister Philosophical.”

            Bucky truly laughed at that. Bucky laughing at anything seemed to be a rarity. He was usually the solemn and quiet type when around anybody who wasn’t Peter or Steve. That wasn’t to say he didn’t have a good time because he normally did. He just usually did so quietly. “Clint’s right, you know. It’s been known to happen from time to time.”

            “Ha ha,” Clint grumbled, though he was smirking.

            “Peter, there you are,” Pepper said, walking into the kitchen where they all were. She didn’t question why Clint or Bucky was on their floor of the Tower just like nobody ever questioned this. Most of the time, there was usually at least one person on their floor who already had their own floor all to themselves. “Tony got back about fifteen minutes ago. He wanted to take a shower when he got back, but we should probably go talk to him once he’s out.”

            “Friday usually tells me when he comes back.”

            “My apologies,” Friday cut in. “You were in the middle of sparring. I didn’t want to interrupt.”

            “No, it’s okay Fri. I just didn’t know is all,” Peter said. He took a handful of crackers before sliding the packet back to Clint. “Catch you guys later.”

            On the way to Tony and Pepper’s bedroom, Pepper nudged him. “Who were you sparring?”

            “Bucky. I was punching the bag, but he was criticizing me, and then he wouldn’t let me go on patrol, so we sparred.”

            “I wouldn’t have wanted you to go out on patrol anyways. I’m sure you were a little too worked up for that.”

            “That’s what Bucky said. I mean, I would have liked to go out, but I guess it’s for the best that I didn’t.”

            “Exactly,” Pepper said. She smiled at him as if she was proud of his mature thinking. He smiled back because it was hard not to smile when Pepper smiled. She was very good at this ‘mom’ thing. He ought to tell her that sometime. “Tony sounded like he had a good time at MIT today. What do you want to bet that he’s going to try to talk you into going to MIT within the first two minutes of you seeing him?”

            “We’d both be on the same side of that bet,” Peter said, and Pepper laughed. As they got closer to the bedroom, he hesitated. Pepper stopped laughed and instead frowned, looking at him curiously. “He’s probably in a really good mood. Probably very excited and more inspired than ever to create. He’s probably gonna want to go to the lab.”

            “You know that he’ll drop-”

            “I know,” Peter interrupted. “But I don’t want him to. This is something that could probably wait until tomorrow. I mean, it isn’t that big of a thing. It could have all just been a coincidence, and even if it wasn’t, Skip doesn’t stand a chance against me anymore.”

            Pepper stared at him sadly for a second before pulling him into a hug – a hug that he reciprocated tightly. They stayed like that for nearly a minute before she pulled away. “Sure, maybe it was all just one huge coincidence. And sure, you’re stronger than him now. But that man hurt you before. Even if the thought of you passes through his head once, that’s too many times for me to be comfortable with. I know Tony would agree. You could be, I don’t know, forty years old, and we would still want to deal with Skip. He hurt you. He is a danger to you, physically and mentally, and we want to make sure you’re going to be okay.”

            “But I will be okay.”

            “You don’t know that, honey,” Pepper said with a shake of her head. “Especially with all of this stuff going on with you. You said yourself that it all comes back to him. Those problems are likely to get worse with his reappearance. I know you understand that.”

            “I do, I do, I just…I don’t want that to be the case.”

            “I know. Which is why we need to take it seriously now so that we can help you work through it rather than shove all of the fear and anger aside just to hurt you later. The first step is to talk to Tony about this. I know there isn’t really anything Tony could do to make sure you never see Skip again, but this way you’ll have him to lean on. If you seeing Skip twice in a week isn’t a coincidence, Tony needs to be aware. If we need to get a restraining order or get the police involved, it’s going to have to come from Tony.”

            She was right, of course. No matter how hard Peter didn’t want her to be right, she was still very right. “I know. I guess let’s get this over with.”  


End file.
